Our guest today
needs no introduction. He is well known for his high profile, if
controversial, appearances as spokesperson for the Morden Tourist
Authority and prior to that as the Bacon Marketing Board's Man of the
Year 2009.
Despite his attempt earlier this week to induce heart failure in members of the Route Planning Committee he has not yet been expelled from the tour. No doubt we will learn to love his dodgy Euro Timetable App.
It took a while to pin him down but eventually we got the call to meet at the prestigious Concorde Room in Heathrow's Terminal 5.
Where are you from and why did you leave?
Morden, the ar*e end of the Northern Line. Highlights: the ability to get pretty much anywhere else in the country with just two changes. Something I exploited whenever I could. I left because it's sh*t, but I only moved 6 miles to Surbiton, seeking the Good Life. Whether I found it or not is a different matter.
What are your hobbies/interests?
Bacon strips.
And bacon strips
and bacon strips
and bacon strips
and bacon strips.
Also Guinness.
What's the worst train trip that you have ever taken?
After 48 hours drinking in Galway on a stag-do, 12 of us cramped in a vestibule area on a rickety slow service back to Dublin. I was sweating Guinness and almost had a stroke.
What attracted you to GCERC?
FINALLY I can achieve my ambition: to take a dump in 23 different countries within 18 days. LIVING THE DREAM.
I read somewhere that you don't drink wine. Can I have yours?
It's true! I've tried to like wine, and I've always failed. Mostly I like my drinks fizzy, or made of Guinness.
How do you feel about being the only GCERCer with a proper beard?
The beard is a proud public statement of my dedication to both manliness and laziness.
Also I'm hoping to get a bit of spare change thrown my way as we travel.
Or get mistaken for Frankie Boyle.
What will you be reading as we travel?
Beer bottle labels.
What worries you most about the trip?
The potential for spending 18 days without being able to source a decent Guinness.
What is your favourite film featuring trains?
Silver Streak! Though I'm hoping GCERC is largely free of murder and station destruction.
Which bit of GCERC are you looking forward to the most?
Having a dump in the Arctic Circle. Also catching 8 different trains on day 14. EIGHT TRAINS.
Our 8 track isn't working. Give us three tracks for your desert island.
Chas and Dave - The Sideboard Song
Guns 'n Roses - Night Train
and anything by ZZ Top. Good beards, those boys.
Despite his attempt earlier this week to induce heart failure in members of the Route Planning Committee he has not yet been expelled from the tour. No doubt we will learn to love his dodgy Euro Timetable App.
It took a while to pin him down but eventually we got the call to meet at the prestigious Concorde Room in Heathrow's Terminal 5.
DD - Hello Darren. Thanks for making time to talk to us. I know that you have a flight to catch so let's get cracking.
Morden, the ar*e end of the Northern Line. Highlights: the ability to get pretty much anywhere else in the country with just two changes. Something I exploited whenever I could. I left because it's sh*t, but I only moved 6 miles to Surbiton, seeking the Good Life. Whether I found it or not is a different matter.
What are your hobbies/interests?
Bacon strips.
And bacon strips
and bacon strips
and bacon strips
and bacon strips.
Also Guinness.
What's the worst train trip that you have ever taken?
After 48 hours drinking in Galway on a stag-do, 12 of us cramped in a vestibule area on a rickety slow service back to Dublin. I was sweating Guinness and almost had a stroke.
What attracted you to GCERC?
FINALLY I can achieve my ambition: to take a dump in 23 different countries within 18 days. LIVING THE DREAM.
I read somewhere that you don't drink wine. Can I have yours?
It's true! I've tried to like wine, and I've always failed. Mostly I like my drinks fizzy, or made of Guinness.
How do you feel about being the only GCERCer with a proper beard?
The beard is a proud public statement of my dedication to both manliness and laziness.
Also I'm hoping to get a bit of spare change thrown my way as we travel.
Or get mistaken for Frankie Boyle.
What will you be reading as we travel?
Beer bottle labels.
What worries you most about the trip?
The potential for spending 18 days without being able to source a decent Guinness.
What is your favourite film featuring trains?
Silver Streak! Though I'm hoping GCERC is largely free of murder and station destruction.
Which bit of GCERC are you looking forward to the most?
Having a dump in the Arctic Circle. Also catching 8 different trains on day 14. EIGHT TRAINS.
Our 8 track isn't working. Give us three tracks for your desert island.
Chas and Dave - The Sideboard Song
Guns 'n Roses - Night Train
and anything by ZZ Top. Good beards, those boys.
Thish a
really nice place. Hic! Can you get me shome more champagne before you go?
At this point Security arrived and the interview was terminated.
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